Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
no ping pong balls so we're playing beer pong with an ornament. you can't tell me that's not festive.
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
his grandma walked in on us. twice. and he was truly fucking surprised when i put my pants back on.
Your beautifulness. Funnyness. Sexy hairness. Coolness. Plus you ask google how far wendys is from your house. Will you marry me
Hindsight is 20/20. Or a bladder infection.
....I feel like you are deciding whether or not I'm good enough for you based on what I ordered from Chipotle.
That's how I like my men: traumatized and crying in a ball
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
Also I just took the BEST ass selfie of my adult life.... it's gonna be a good day haha
I fucked her on her ex's Yankee sheets while she was wearing an Ortiz jersey...of course she gets to meet my mother
Don't come up here. Strippers r crying.
The guy next to me on the bus has one hole in his jeans that has over 20 mini dicks drawn on his leg. Classic.
DRUNK COOKIES
Are you drunk or are the cookies drunk or are these cookies that get you drunk?
Yes
How does it make you feel that I can't control my vagina around you?
Randomize
