Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
I wish they had nachos that got you drunk
soooo we both peed the bed last night...
Dude she has a fucking rock collection. Never will I ever talk to her again.
I may also break bread with strippers. Because it is passover.
Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
I need input, can I pre-game my cat scan?
He turned me down because he was still doing his taxes.
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
My costume for the end of the world party was a success. Everyone in the ER thought I was there because I got hit by a car when it was actually from alcohol poisoning.
Well as if this year didn't suck enough already, I can now count 2015 as the year I got chlamydia
I just showed this kid my nipples to work my shift tmw
I guess "hi, I know your mom, she taught me in high school" is an effective pickup line
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
I wanted to give everyone gifts as they left the house... So when your wondering where most of the christmas ornaments are I'm really sorry.
Randomize