Some guy on the train just glared at me. So I'm drinking tequilla out of a dixie cup. Go fuck yourself.
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
So last week was the 4th time a girl cried after sex. I'm seriously doing something wrong
dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off
youre not allowed to be friends with girls ive double teamed. period.
just had an awkward elevator run in with that guy you puked on
There was a stripper pole on the party bus. Was being past tense because some fat chick somehow tore it from the ceiling while grinding
She gave me head while using a laptop on my stomach to go online. I've never seen a better feat of multitasking.
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
bleeding from the face, sitting in a shopping cart and holding a wad of ripped caution tape. what else would i be doing?
When's a good time to tell your boyfriend you've slept with his ex girlfriend?
He told me he wanted a penis beard so that he could look at girls faces when they gave him blowjobs. i have to say, i kind of admire his creativity
Everyone at work loved my story about sobering up in a river with no bra on.
Please rescue me. but take your time, im getting pizza
earned some solid air miles from the plan B I just bought. #silverlinings
Randomize
