Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
Just donated money to a kid for her softball team.
Obviously I'm trying to futher our next generation of lesbians. I may be hitting on her at the gay bar in ten years...
I'm at the airport and there's a guy wearing all camoflash to go hunting .. Should I bump in to him and say woahh sorry didn't see you there?
I wish they had an "I'm Stoned" genre on online Netflix
I wasnt that drunk. Throwing the table off the third story was totally logical.
Just got booked to do a bachelorette party for a polygamist wedding. And notice I only text you to rub things in your face and show you my life shits on yours. Daily.
i should teach a seminar on how to fall off the wagon
So I found the perfect "Yeah I gained weight since high school but it went to all the right places" outfit for the reunion this weekend.
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
It's supposed to be a shit show, it's an end of the world party.
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
Dude I just woke up naked on the floor with my dick in a boot. Legit in a fucking boot. I also have no idea where I am.
Randomize
