They thought we spoke German and French even though we just kept repeating "I give to you a cat" and "Are you drunk?"
He wanted to take a picture with our pizza to show his mom that I was pretty but more importantly that he practices in "sober" activities
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
Chances are I'll be there for your wedding. Camelbaks filled with jack and coke are appropriate attire, right?
How could I forget your birthday? I have an alarm in my phone to ask you for sex that day.
Youre the drunk baby that everyone wants to take care of.
Got into Princeton. So excited about the mommy-issue-over-achieving-cock I get to ride the next 4 years!!!
Trying to figure out what I just puked. Demon weed is salad. No more drunk buffets.
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
You did a body shot out of her belly button with a bendy straw.
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
Sorry I've been a slutty nightmare this week
Man I gotta stop stashing shit when I'm high. I just spent 2 hours searching for my bag of pot and eventually found it in fucking a bandaid box.
i'll explain later but cookie monster is playing the xylophone
Apologies that our conversations always turn to butt sex or penis size. I thought we out grew that in our 20's.
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