we're blogging at a bar
i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
He gave his mom his old phone, and I am SO paranoid
Did you send adult things?
Um. Yes would be the understatement of the year
Woman walking into toby keith concert: 8 months pregnant, black eye, shirt on that has a picture of a boot and the words "we'll put a boot up your ass" with an american flag printed over--the sleeves were ripped off and she had a camo cowboy hat. Greatest thing I've ever seen.
Wine + wine + wine + wine + bud light = puke.
the bouncer kept askin you for id just to see how long it would take you to find your pants
Remember that time we were in the handicap bathroom snorting Molly at the stripclub. That was a defining moment in our friendship
While you were hooking up with her I pulled you off to make sure you knew what you were doing.
You said you were "testing the product for Chris."
I'm a bad man.
We told you to go get more fire wood and you came running back with a log that was on fire, not drunk at all.
it would be a downgrade if your vagina tasted like skittles
OMG CHARGE YOUR PHONE I NEED TO KNOW IF THIS IS A GOOD PICTURE OF MY ASS
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
I miss the days where our biggest worries were who was gonna win battle shits.
Please don't buy a buttplug. It won't fill the empty space in your heart.
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
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