woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
She bought a fucking hedgehog. And that's just the tip of the crazy iceberg.
want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
captain&coke to the library. STAT. this is an emergency. this is not a drill. I repeat: THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Got some good news and bad news about the hayride this weekend.
The good news is its still on, the bad news is we don't have any hay. The best news, if you drink enough you won't give a fuck that its just a trailer.
So the dude who sold me my english book is the same guy who let me punch him in the face in exchange for a cig at a party a few weeks ago. small world huh ?
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
She had an asthma attack and had to stop but insisted on getting me off. It's official she's the one
I just had a guy ask me if his "jewelry downstairs" would set off the metal detector.
He just snapchatted me a blank snap that said "miss our sex" Vagina game too strong
Meeting up with one of your students at your drug dealers house is always an awkward moment
No I don't. You owe me sex and cinnamon rolls.
Can't be considered a walk of shame if you pick up donuts on the way home
you know you're sexually deprived when you're holding a warm taquito in your hand and your vagina starts to tingle
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