I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
If the Four Horseman of the Apocalypse gang banged each other and had a kid, it would look like the creature I woke up next to this morning.
yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
got high and went straight for the Doritos. I'm some kind of walking cliche.
Listen, Pinot Grigio got me pregnant. It can get you a boyfriend.
Even My mom was ashamed of me bringing her home, she pulled me aside, and told me i can do better than, "butter faces"
I don't know what happened to get you in this mentality. This time last year your were ass up on a hotel bathroom counter getting licked by a stranger.
I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.
mallory made a planned parenthood decision maker flow chart again.
The woman in the hospital bed next to me just got diagnosed with flea bites on her vag.
Whaaaaaat? No way.
Now a discussion of pigs vs. dog as carrier.
I am trying to take a picture of a man in a wheelchair trying to ship a michael jackson portrait
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
you should never start the day with a boob text. It can only go downhill from there
I woke up alone, naked in her bed staring at a lifesize poster of edward cullen,actually I'm lying I did have socks on
Woke up at 8am and asked if she had coffee.... She handed me a shot of tequila...
Randomize
