it wasn't lemon gatorade
How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
no you cant smoke seaweed
Woke up this morning 8 levels higher in Call of Duty then when I started drinking... told you I was better when I was drunk.
So there's dick imprints in the peanut butter
I truly believe that the solid foundation of any healthy relationship is a drunken one night stand so I can just get all the nasty shit out on the table
Hey. Can you be so hung over that you get a rash?
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
K, so let's go ahead and say that mcnugget and margarita Tuesday was a bad idea
wanna mail me your GoPro for St.Patties and I'll mail it back to you coverend in puke?
Remember that time a drunk Dracula took a shit in the urinal? Ooh, that's right, it was last night.
You're doing screenings before you set me up again- no child sized dicks allowed.
Do you feel better now that you've sent me a picture of your dick?
Yep.
stupid neighbors doing stupid yard work with their stupid kids when i want to do drugs in the backyard
the sex is SO much better when he thinks im going insane
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