i think my mom watched the whole time
Tipsy and thinking of you. Talk tomorrow. My alliteration is awesome.
You said, "can you make out with him for a little bit, I need a break."
In other words, he somehow found his way to my apartment, wasted, and was naked on my new couch. Completely naked. It was too special to pass up.
I woke up five hours later with a mouthful of Jimmy John's while clinging to my sandwich.
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
GOIN TO BED BEFORE TEQUILA BLEEDS FROM MY EYEBALLS
Pretty sure the guy I hooked up with Saturday gave me a buy one get one free coupon for chipotle. Who said nice guys don't exist?
The secret to finals week is to have an orgasm for every point you need on the test before you take it.
Yeah, I'm just gonna try to repress that and remember him for his big dick and perfect jawline.
The part where he comes over and ignores you isn't what makes me mad about that story... It's the fact that he ate your tacos, AND THEN proceeded to ignore you. That's cold hearted.
I was like sure, i'll have a drink or two to end the night early. Next thing i know theres a ton of dudes in my house and like 3 gallons of wine. I cant do anything in moderation.
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
Drunk is a universal language darling
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