Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
i really wish someone from a royal background would fuck me so i could literally say i was 'royally fucked'.
he let me duct tape his mouth because i said it was my fetish, i really just wanted him to shut up
Mom just Facebook checked into an Applebees at 2am. Caption: ''WITH THE BESTIEZ.''
When I finally got there you were bleeding all over and you just kept saying over and over that the dog was your only friend at the party.
Drunkasaurus has found a new cave to eat all the children she captured
I need to get you away from Bacardi 151 and out from under the bed
We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often
I would feel worse for you if you weren't waking up between a pair of double Fs that attached to a classically trained chief. Im still jacking off eating hot pockets.
I think I'm a wingman for every guy who bangs a girl I scarred in highschool.
I like how our relationship transcends the borders of inappropriateness and encompasses all the colors of the inappropriate rainbow.
Well she made a 15 year old cry, the grandmother did an ice luge and I woke up to the sound of sex moans
I’m not closing myself off the to the possibility of making a bad life choice.
I'm smoking and watching the Muppets Treasure Island. Where are you?
Something about that statement reminds me just how much of a role model you are, sis.
When we started the night I was in zebra wedges & she was in my black boots... I woke up wearing pink flip flops & the mirror on my rental is fuxked up. Wtf happened last night?
He said when the pizza came I zip locked one slice and went to the couch and snuggled with it. Does that give you an idea of how my night was?
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