i'm signing you up for texting rehab
we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
Remember when we did the egg drop from the Dyson building? Her vag is like that, except with a ham, and the ham doesn't make it. I'll be back to the apartment in ten.
CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
Just facebooked the guy whose name you're yelling in there. So you're aware, his interests include "swearing at babies" and "Ice luge"
I just put a tampon in while driving. Don't tell me I don't got skills.
Somewhere between yelling how am I gonna make it to my flight and more titie shots I stopped caring
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
DAMMIT Im supposed to be running a company not discussing dick piercings!
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
I don't need no damn man when I have the cock-a-nator 2000.
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog.
You know what sucks about being drunk at 4 pm? Not a god damn thing.
Randomize
