i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
She used my dick as a microphone to sing "any way you want it" I'm in love.
It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
No, you dont understand, he literately fucked me into a new hairstyle, quite nice too.
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
Strip beer pong in the front yard? Of course the cops showed up
I'm going on a valentine's date with the random guy i hooked up with in the bar bathroom this weekend...i feel like julia roberts
I am the worst sexter. i actually told him .. if i had a penis, it would be hard right now. BTW thats a turn off.
This is not a costume party, I'm just wearing fairy wings.
Of course you are.
Do I lose at life if I cry in a grocery store while buying a pregnancy test?
I can assure you I didn't go home with a girl, because I woke up on someone's porch
So, I ran into Garrett last night in the laundry room.
Oh really? First post break-up run in. How'd it go? Awkward?
Um. We had sex on a washing machine.
I have blood and BBQ sauce all over my shirt. I blame you for the blood.
Randomize
