i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
I have a running excel spreadsheet detailing the number of shots in a night and subsequent ability to masturbate
Woke up at 4:30am to my little brother shaking me. Apparently I fell asleep naked on my kitchen table waiting for the toaster to pop. 2 years of college completed and i still havent learned my drinking limit...
I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.
i would one night stand the shit outta him
i woke up in the fire place with a lighter in my hand. if i would have died the night would have made up for it.
hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking if you had a pulse
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
You know it's a good weekend when you wake up on Sunday questioning your sexuality.
Tell him "come over but don't bring a flaccid dick"
Wear something tight
I just used my dick as to measure where my desk would go because I don't have a tape measure or a ruler.
It was a recodring of you having sex ! It was like an ape and a dying mongoose at a buffet Xoxoxo
Fucking suck it up and drink your feelings like a normal human being.
my mom talks about my drinking like its a problem and yet this morning she fills me a solo cup with champagne for the shower.
It’s gonna be hard being interviewed by this girl without remembering the time she showed me her nipple piercings at Dylan’s party
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