just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
My Hamptons summer hookup resume reads like a walk-in clinic waiting list.
Mother nature decided I wasn't going to be a whore today. Fuck her.
No flights in Europe due to the volcano erupting. God himself is telling me to spend 4.20 in Amsterdam.
Did we both pass out talking about cake last night?
i flashed his best friends last night
you always were good at making good first impressions
and I believe it was when I was running to class to take a test still drunk in my Halloween costume that I realized I have reached that point in the semester where I just don't give a flying fuck anymore.
Seriously, I am going to crawl in a hole, sew my vagina shut, and spit acid on any man that comes near me.
I threw up outside of a cab while waiting in a drive thru Mexican line while others who i don't know watched from their cars while they ate. Dinner and a show.
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
tried to make it look like I had been conscious/awake and out all day when I stumbled into cvs at 6pm to buy plan B
update: I failed
WE'RE NOT MAKING A DICK PIZZA OKAY
Yeah so then I used the selfie stick his mom gave me to take nudes
He let me eat chexmix while we fucked... I think I love him.
Bad news man, we're gonna have to reschedule Golden Coral: The Musical
I don't know who the fuck this is, but right on man
Randomize
