I want to stick my p in your. b.
This is getting ridiculous. See/touch her boobs=good day. Not see/not touch her boobs=bad day. I am legitimately depressed over the lack of tits in my hands right now.
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
I'm legit concerned I might pass out this weekend from having too much sex.
He turned down jacuzzi sex. He cares more about my vagina than i do.
Don't feel bad sweetie, you're not the only classy one in town. I'm still driving around with that tupperware of tequila in my cup holder from last week's Margarita Monday.
Home safe. Took me everything not to stop and pick up some random cat that looked like an ocelot tho.
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
I don't think the TSA would be too happy. Who knows if three ounces of lube will be enough for us?
I need a new best friend. Someone who drinks like a fish, hooks up enough to raise eyebrows, and isn't afraid to admit that masturbation is the second best way to spend time. Someone like me! Help me put up posters.
I had a dream he was standing in front of me naked and flexing while yelling VICTORY and gizzing all over the floor.
Ooo, yeah! Thanksgiving will be a blast. Can't fuckin wait for the next round of "have you found a nice young man yet?" Followed by a lovely helping of "don't worry, there's someone out there for you."
Do you find Darth Vader masks attractive?
Well the cops were called after the kid fell, but we saw 4 cute guys from our window while it was going down, so it wasn't all that bad.
Get over here and bring your drill!!! The strippers next door need help installing a stripper pole by their pool
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