he was on top of me and all of a sudden stopped and starting picking his nose...i asked him if he was okay, he sort of looked confused, and he told me he had a booger that hurt. guess its a good thing i wasnt planning on dating this guy
is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
last thing I heard her say before I passed out was 'this is great. I never get to be the big spoon.'
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
As payment for all the times you have babysat me while im drunk, im giving you the shorts i stole from the guy i stayed with on friday night. They're clean. Come get em.
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
Attn every girl I've slept with in the past 26 years of my life. One of you cunts gave me herpes. This is the 4th of 5 group MMS. That's right. It's in the 50s. There are two girls I don't have #s for. One was on a cruise and the other was a prostitute in Amsterdam. So which of you has herpes?
I think a van full of parolees just blew me kisses. Thoughts?
Holy shit there is too much Taco Bell here to talk to you
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
ok now I feel liek a very drunk human instead of a chaos being thanks water
Never ever make a tattoo bet. I now have a shamrock on my dick.
Waking up with cheese all over my clothes and my vibrator in my pants is a sign we drank way too much tequila last night
Goddamn it. Hes got me addicted to his penis
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