hot mess party of 2 ur bar is now available
Who wears a wallet chain?!
Sometimes, when I'm driving alone I talk to myself in a Russian accent so I think it's my mommy and it calms me down.
I'm so high that a hulu ad convinced me to go on healthybaby.com
Nothing quite says America like barbecue and beer at 9 in the morning.
Want to get naked in Baltimore this weekend?
I don't think I'd trust a marching band with trampolines to not cause serious damage to themselves/ property.
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
Just put your hair in a bun. We're going out to drink, not to impress people.
One of those nights had to have been when we tried to walk through the McDonald's drive through -- and then got in the car with complete strangers. And stole their hamburgers.
No, trust me. Falling down the stairs is a fucking sobering experience.
omg just made cake vodka jello shots, sooooo excited
dear god these taste like death. death and sprinkles
Want to go swimsuit shopping? First one who cries buys ice cream.
Well I found my neighbors on tinder if you're wondering how my night went
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
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