nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
Help i just walked in on mom blowing dad
I'm too high to be shopping. I just contemplated deoderant for fifteen minutes. Now testing pillows
When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?
you know that dress I got margarita and puke on? yeah, just returned it.
my mom just informed me that im way nicer when im high and offered to supply my weed until our house guests leave.
does that include her cleaning your bowl?
And I'm supposed to be surprised that you got another concussion?
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
We just broke my bed mid-sex, laughed, then continued. If that isn't true love I don't know what is.
My day so far: morning after pill and pancakes. Living the dream.
Your first mistake was thinking that you could get through the day without drinking a single bottle of alcohol. Your second mistake was wearing shark boxers.
Like, yea, let's talk sexy but also...LOOK! I SAW A CAT!
I found Erin. She's getting a back massage from the coat check boy and drinking all his whiskey.
Randomize
