Dude, I just scraped frozen vomit from my rooftop
I really wish I could say this is a new low for you
apparently when the FedEx truck drove by, we tried to chase it down thinking they were delievering a 30 pack...great night.
you made sure to tell everyone that the amount of people you had slept with was actually quite low, especially when the size of your breasts was taken into account
we weren't quite sure what was on that mirror, so we snorted it and hoped for the best
i almost hope i AM knocked up so i can ruin the rest of his life
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
I opened up my wallet and it was filled with puke.
I'm at work. It's margarita night. Someone literally just shouted "MURICUH!"
God bless us, everyone.
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
I'm just gonna use that pot butter as dip for chips. That's fat, American AND stoner!
Oh. My. God. You texted my mom "IM BACK BITCHES!"
You were discovered in a bush, smoking, and singing "in the jungle" to yourself. Which explains the scratches, but not the orange paint.
We accept all of your sexual lovers, Jewish, episcopalian, atheist. Dick is dick
you know it was a good night when you wake up with a medal around your neck
I woke up handcuffed to a bed wearing nothing but an army belt. Does this count as thanking our country?
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