We're the kind of people who ruin family vacations
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
I can hear her blowing you man. All I hear is her saying 'yeah' over and over again.
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
Donating $10 to Sandy victims for every hurricane I drink tomorrow. Buying me alcohol just became a good cause.
I want to name my colorful bowl Batman. Why? I still have yet to figure it out. But I'm calling it Batman.
We haven't been trashed enough to shut down a bar together in four days. I'm starting to worry that we're growing apart.
I woke up naked in this guys bed and the first thing I start saying is it's super bowl Sunday like I was yelling
The fact that you got a stranger guy to buy you a pizza off tinder makes me feel amazing
She paid me 300 bucks to spank her and call her Baby Jane. Then we drank half a bottle of sippin whiskey. I'd call it a twelve out of ten.
Cats are difficult to handle. Also they are impossible to baptize.
If there's a nuclear war you can come over. I'll feed you soup and you can rig up car batteries to power the coffee pot and toaster. We can grow tomatoes and chickens.
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
I deleted your number after I found out you gave my brother head for drugs.
Randomize
