Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
It's noon and i am somehow drinking by myself in a jazz tent in broad daylight.
had to check his id this morning to remember his name.... i was wayy off
These old people don't even realize they're giving me weed money for shoveling snow.
And then she was like, "don't do anything. No blow jobs, don't let him stick his fingers in weird places because people have germs."
I feel like I'm sitting in a sleigh of puddy. It's not a bathtub though because you need a sleigh to go down a mountain.
There comes a time where you just have to sit back and watch the drunken idiots pee on each other
Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
I feel like I was eaten by a coyote, then shit over a cliff...
At 27 it's no longer called 'slutty', it's called having a healthy sex life...
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
Also, my old intern Lizzie whom you fed pizza to last night wants to hang out with you
Two days ago a random guy asked me to sign his forehead 'cause he wanted to have the name of the prettiest girl in the bar on him and never wash it. I just saw him and my signature still there...
I can't wait to see you & have espresso-fueled sex
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