This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
there is a homeless man oan crack poledancing on a fence... now hes humping it...
I have to brush my teeth today to feel like I did something.
..and it was like all of a sudden I could hear the sounds my brain was making
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
The hot tub didn't work. But it's okay because we discovered just how many people you can fit in a bathtub.
Also, there's the possibility of falling 5 feet to your death to make it more exciting
In which case I will yell FIVE SECOND RULE and continue to slam you
There is an alarming amount of food in my bra.
I THINK it was the lead singer. Whoever he was, I have his number and his dick was pierced.
It was totally the lead singer.
Our lives are a motherfucking joke
I'm fine w planning around your penis prospecting. Saturday it is.
I'm gonna fight the coyote
no dude he sent me cemetery flowers, i know it. they are half dried out roses in the shape of a cross, seriously. and he is not religious. so he robbed a freaking grave site for me. am i like an accessory to grave robbing now??
damnit this is what you get for dating guys with neck tattoos
I drank Dr. Pepper and instant breakfast mix together and threw up sober for the first time.
Randomize
