Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
You know how I know it's Spring Break? I just passed a car with "South Padre bound" shoe polished on the back. The driver was blatantly drinking a roadie and getting road head.
I'm having post traumatic stress flashbacks of last night. That big. Don't know whether to call him again or change my name...
So excited for tonight I might actually pee my pants BEFORE I get blackout
My fuck buddy took time out of his date with his girlfriend to text me happy Valentines Day.
Looks like a significant portion of my drinking money just became legal fees.
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
I'm sorry I peed on your everything.
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
i am an animal i am literally locking myself in my house and not coming out for a week i don't deserve to be in public
Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
I just won 200$ from Bar Karaoke, for singing the "Sailor Moon" theme song, and then the Pokemon theme song, also known as the motherfucking ANTHEM OF POKEMON MASTERS LIKE ME. I HAD TO REPRESENT.
I'm trying to blow this guy down here can you please get my husband out of the house.
While he was fucking me, he just stopped and said, "Mike says Hi." Then proceeded to fuck me.
What did you do?
What do you say to that!? But, when I came, I screamed out my full name.
On this version of “Dean Can’t Be a Normal Fucking Human,” I told a guy I’d shove a tv up his ass. Recreationally.
Plasma, LED or OLED?
Randomize
