I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
I just had the fat girl at the party come tell me I look sad and offer me a beer. I'm out.
I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
Hey thanks again for rolling me that blunt necklace. It was amazing.
We found her on the trampoline. She told us she was jumping so she could puke & rally. I think I want to marry her.
I need a vacation from myself..this is duely noted after I tried giving myself a concussion last night
I think my uterus is still laying in your bed somewhere under the covers.
I just told a kid I was in a wheelchair because Santa shot me due to me being on the naughty list. You should have seen this little bastards face
Nooo, I ran into two if my exes, both having their engagement parties at the bar. It was like a fucking Eskimo family reunion, but with more tequila.
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
I'm pretty sure he's playing the harmonica in my shower right now. I just really need to pee.
Just told myself the phrase "You're not THAT single" while dressing myself
All I ever do is give guys anxiety problems and flaccid penises.
I got myself off in the shower last night for the first time ever! I just looked like I was playing a game of twister.
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