You know how britney does the hair flip too much in her new videos? Thats me right now
He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
Apparently throwing up on your own cape is still a party foul
I'm drunk at McDonald's in a fairy costume at 10 am nearly two weeks after Halloween. I don't think the Ohio State fans get it.
Because you stood over the Ice luge screaming STONE COLD and poured beer on everyone
Just go to your happy place. Mine is with Jake Gyllenhaal & schnapps
Rule #36, branched off rule 4: Dave stays on a leash in crazy settings. It keeps him good and gets you laid.
So essentially he's like a puppy you can bring to a bar? Retractable leash or chain then?
He called me at 4 a.m. and wanted me to drive him to McDonald's then drop him off at home. It wasn't even a booty call, it was a fucking chauffeur call.
I woke up in some kids room and he introduced me to his friends at breakfast as "Monica" so I just went with it.
Any man who can do squats while fucking you is a man worth keeping.
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
What's an appropriate gift to bring to my boyfriend's wife's baby shower?
Shame?
I have to have boobs, you have the charm and wholesomeness that gets boyfriends... And i have boobs
Randomize
