But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
She was so morning drunk she asked the lady at brueggers for a bandaid and my self respect back
I just told a kid I was in a wheelchair because Santa shot me due to me being on the naughty list. You should have seen this little bastards face
Whoever put the picture of my dad in the condom box is an asshole
Hi this is the guy from the cell phone store. Your Dad just upgraded your phone as a surprise. I didn't tell him about your topless pics on your phone. I transfered them to new phone. Nice rack!
Well, our assistant supervisor caught us on the back stairs...he invited us on a double date with his fiance and him. I guess our job approves of the relationship?
Woke up, moved an empty handle of fireball to spit blood, then put the morning cigarette out in it.
Fair warning: I will be throwing corn dogs at you every time I see you this week.
You should not have followed "the guy who peed in my bed" with "he smells good."
You were drunk at 5 You went to the dining hall and cried because your brain and fingers weren't working. Your RA came up to you and suddenly you became sober. I was very proud of you.
I have the WORST hangover. Pretty sure my liver fell out while taking a dump. THAT bad.
You shouldn't play strip poker when you're having a wet fart kind of day.
Let's not share with anyone else in the apartment of how we simultaneously peed in the kitchen sink last night.....
Randomize
