its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
Getting 10 cents back for every can is really just encouraging alcoholism.
third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
so he woke up after being passed out and yelled that he had brought back moon rocks for everybody...
At least you have booty calls.
True. I just waste them though. I feel like I need to be told "there are people in this world who would give anything for just one and you have two." You know in that same tone your parents told you about the starving people in china
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
Could have been worst, could have seen me bent over biting her carpet while her son was inside me, i think i would have respnded with "i was just trying to be quiet"
Her text was so long it had an arrow to expand it. You know it's bad when even your iPhone can't handle her
If I had a vagina, my apartment would have been the Atlantic
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
I wish you could see all the crumbs in my bra....it looks like Hansel & Gretel got lost in my cleavage.
Last night was a whirlwind of vodka - induced emotion
so like
i may have gotten a little bit of blood in the charging port of my phone
I'm sitting on the couch playing the sims, how's ur night going?
I'm sitting on my floor, drinking wine, and listening to bette midlers "wind beneath my wings"
Why are our lives so predictable?
I have to stay away from bourbon. Despite what it keeps telling me, it is NOT my friend.
Randomize
