Do you think if I drink bleach they will let me leave work?
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
you were so drunk when the pizza guy got there you told him that you didn't have any money and would trade him the pizza for 3 Porno movies and he totally did it. I may never have to pay for pizza again
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
Every time I try to stand up the back of my head feels like a bunch of little elves are beating the inside of my scalp with their toy making tools. What disease could this be?
Since when do you have sex with people you have feelings for?
Dude you don't understand. I genuinely felt his soul's penis in my soul's vagina.
You have my approval. I will dance and throw skittles at your funeral.
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
He was spooning with the dog when I came home. Now shes afriad to go near him. Should I ask?
some people popped out of a houseboat and asked us to their party. their houseboat IS A WEEDBOAT. it is full of weed they grow weed. EVERYWHERE.
25 likes of a picture on Instagram of my butthole. beat that.
He laid on the ground 100 ft from the car crying about how he just wanted to be home already
But don't thank me for faking being asleep, if I was the real wing man, I would have left the bed
SCUSE ME I KNOW YOU DIDNT DO THAT MUCH COKE IN 10 MINUTES
I opened my eyes to the dog snorting coke, I decided it was best to just close my eyes and forget what I saw
Randomize
