Wearing these hooker shoes was a mistake
Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
he was writing an apology letter to his liver in shakespearean english... That much fun...
At home depot. Final room inspection is tmrow, gotta paint over the puke stains
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
Hey fuck you and your taint. I'm just riding a canoe called life, back the fuck off. P.s. I need a ride
I know you think I'm being paranoid, but can you please make sure Danny doesn't rub my wedding invitation on his balls?
Im shrooming at the foot of a tree on top of a mountain. Feeling fly as fuckin socrates and bon iver.
I danced with a french guy who licked the sweat off my neck and poured a drink on me. Not gonna lie, that shit was refreshing
Would it be sad if I made a blanket fort to get drunk in till the power came back?
He said his name was Tony, after last night I will refer to him as Tiny
What has my life become? I'be officially recruited my fuck buddy for help getting my ex back.
being broke is really keeping my alcoholism in check
Randomize
