Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
i wish that high-me and normal-me were two different ppl so that high-me could thank normal-me for setting out a feast before smoking
I wish that high-you wouldn't text me stupid shit at 3:30 in the morning
I have discovered something important. The trick to making food taste better is not always 'more hot sauce'.
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
I'm hoping you can explain why I woke up with what I believe is pumpkin pie all over my body
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
Apparently I was trying to convince him Springsteen has had buttsex. I ended the argument with "I bet he came from it too."
GET OVER HERE. HOTTIE ALERT
^^^This is why you should have charged your phone prior to going out.
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
we turned the lights off and all you could see were my glow in the dark stars and his penis
I have banged to "The Emperor's New Groove" way more than could possibly be reasonable.
Never. No amount of alcohol could convince my brain and eye sight that it is okay to fuck him. I'd rather fuck my cousin.
A drunk frat boy just jumped on the hood of my car while I was driving down Bridge St. He yelled at me to keep going since he was playing frogger and needed another car to jump on... or a log. I hate this town.
All I want right now is a waffle and some fried chicken and a penis.
Randomize
