they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
and apparently i was drunk enough to follow up with "I'd let me touch your boobs" ... not my best line.
New discovery: conditioner is better for jerking off than baby oil. Fuck yes.
She started acting like she was actually a deaf person...so I went along with it and acted like her interpreter. I don't think anyone bought it.
So good news, aparently I blacked out and tried to go in the back of the mcdonalds to thank the people for makin my fries
I'm just opting for alcohol abuse, ramen and cuddling with my dog for now.
GOOD MORNING. Have you seen the Avenger vibrators?
Btw when I was saying "fuck you" I meant it like "be quiet beautiful princess"
Thank you for helping a fellow gay friend today. You are sublime and deserve free tickets to the Ellen show
I should come with a warning like "do not feed me tequila or cocaine, I will ruin the party and cry"
DO YOU REALIZE HOW AWESOME MY GRANDMA WOULD BE IF SHE GOT HIGH
I downloaded the presidential playlists for offline listening. And Obama made a night one so we have presidential approved fuck jamzzzzz. Thanks Obama!
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico
I JUST SNEEZED WITH A MOUTHFUL OF CHEWED UP CASHEWS AND THEY CAME OUT MY NOSE AND IT HURT AND NOW I HAVE A LITTLE NOSEBLEED
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
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