when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
Did I get blown in the bathroom? Yes. Did she throw up cranberry juice on my shorts? Yes. Did she finish the job? Yes.
I just found 17 dollars of saltine crackers in my room. confused incredibly. suprised not at all.
In a tragic sexting typo, I typed the word "blobjob". Now she's coming over and I have no idea what I'm in for...
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
If Megan asks I spilled my water water all over her. I pissed on your roommate. You're welcome. I expect you to keep that on the down low. Seriously tell her the water thing
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
Confidence is key. All I had to tell him is I'm drinking a bottle of wine and eating chocolate today to celebrate that I love myself. That's how you get a Valentine, my friend.
You were sitting in the tub, clothed, squirting my KY all over yourself. You said "it's warm." then passed out.
And I just realized we will be at a strip club when the end of the world is supposed to happen. This is destiny
After fooling around at the hotel til dawn, I managed to feed her with my free buffet passes. Tastes like sweet victory.
carb up bitch. we're drinking with football players.
You're a FUCKING ASSHOLE. Love mom
She made kool-aid with tequila instead of water and rolled a blunt about the size of an Oscar Mayer hot dog. Best blind date I've ever had. I think I will love her tell my dieing day!
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