im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
it took me 7 solid minutes to realize "egggGSaucetingf" meant "exhausting"
I've been living off of popsicles and broth.
She showed me her tits and my first thought was "I want these to feed my future children." I'm scared.
The guy next to me in the library just got a call from his roommate asking him to come bail him out of jail...we need to step up our game.
Does this mean I don't have to apologize for launching about 20 bead necklaces at you from the balcony?
My black heart of coal cannot compete with your boiling crock pot of teddy bears, rainbows, 90s music, and the good candy you get from rich people on Halloween.
I can't tell if my bong is gender-neutral or not
I just kept thinking.. Holy shit. We're fucking in my front yard.
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
I'm going to make a stack of pancakes and fuck it. Right now.
Pooled our money and rented a bouncy castle for the day. Get over here now. Bring vodka.
We could just stay sober.
No! We tried that once.
It sucked.
Nothing wrong with a little cat scratch fever. You have toys?
A few, plus a dildo molded from a porn star that I've always been too intimidated of to actually use, but it's the apocalypse, and momma didn't raise no quitter.
Randomize
