Why is my head in the toilet this morning but there is vomit behind the toilet
3 of us had 22 margaritas. Hellllllo yellow cab. Goodbye morals.
he woke me up at 3 am to ask me where my plunger, a towel, and staples were. i'm afraid to go into my bathroom.
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
6 other girls and I took an ice cream truck to the bar when we couldn't get a cab. Best birthday ever.
mom came into my room and asked to borrow some condoms. We have gotten to the point where it's not awkward anymore.
She started puking and I started running and I swear to god there was a wave of vomit chasing me down the stairs.
You were carrying around a milk crate, randomly putting it down calling out 'praise be to the milk gods' and making people pray to it.
For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well.
The guy I woke up with is wearing the same nailpolish as me...I need to stop drinking
She's posted my bail. Twice. Of course I'm going to be her wing girl.
Of all the things I've masturbated to while high, my favorites are ritz chips and trees
My brother is chasing tequila with vodka. Not sure how it will turn out, but I like his style.
Look, he's a hot korean guy with a motorcycle and a great ass. I'm gonna do head-titingly kinky shit with him.
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
Randomize
