I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
grandma shit on top of the toilet
You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
The douche that always wears spandex at the gym just walked into class with a dick going into his mouth drawn on his face. The professor said "rough night" and he still has no idea. Tyring to get a pic
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
I puked in the urinal of a bar tonight. Not embarrassed cause I got away with it, legitimately upset you weren't there to make fun of me.
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
Fair warning, if I start singing "Kiss Me, I'm Shitfaced" at any point tomorrow, just go with it
She is sending me pics of her sex faces...which totally counts as sexting in my book
Look. I've got things to do today.. Will you hurry up and come over so I can give you some head and get my day started already
Outside
"DO YOU LIKE FLYING KITES" WORKED AS A PICKUP LINE. SUCK IT.
I shouldn't be drunk at 3 pm but alas, here we are...
This guy knew what he was doing. Most guys can't find the spot even if it shot off a flare and played a kazoo.
I sprayed his whole room with my perfume and left lots of my hair on the bed. So now if he does bring her home, the bitch will know this territory is marked.
I could have sworn that I went home last night... but judging from the couch I just woke up on, apparently not.
Randomize