I thought he was gonna sex me but then he ran to my bathroom and jerked off
so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
Im eating ham and mustard naked, watching south park, but its totally cool cuz the paper plate is covering my nuts
If your 8 lb baby was ham it would serve 6-8 people
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
It's shit like that that makes me wish being deaf was contagious
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
We drove around last night shotting fireworks out the window while they had sex in the back of his car
He asked her to marry him and she said yes. There is NO WAY she knows about his penchant for wearing lingerie.
Quick how do you hit on a guy in the car behind you? It's important.
At one point we were both in the bathroom and i was taking a shit while holding your hair as you puked in the sink. Friendship.
OMG -- There are strippers in the bathroom crying because their power moves aren't good enough to win the competition
She tried to fuck me right at the bar in front of everyone. She actually got my pants unzipped before I realized what was going on.
why the hell are you crying over taco bell?
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