Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
are you drunk enough to hook up with me yet?
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
She's thinkin about havin beer pong at her reception... She's walkin a fine line between trashy and the best idea ever
The cab driver had me sign for the payment and I was like give me a second while I throw up right outside your door.
He puked, did more shots, and then pissed in a drawer. We thought it was bad enough and all of a sudden...boom-clothes come off and he passes out with slippers and a styrofoam hat on and a guitar hero guitar in hand pretending he was slash.
My vag has a bald spot. That is so middle aged. Is this my midlife crisis?
You have no idea what this goes for my ego. I literally made you cum in your sleep.
he drank all my beer while i was at work and passed out on my couch, when i got home he was out cold and my room mates pig was licking him. they seemed peaceful, so i took 20 bucks from his wallet and left again.
Oooo. Can we pretend to be Amanda Bynes?
She bought wigs like Disney princesses. I want to be her.
well if they don't get here soon...no fuck it, I'm going to the strip club.
My mom is currently drinking alone in our kitchen singing the Dixie Chicks to herself so, hey, alcohol is forever and we should not be shamed for its use.
The fact that I made out with a twenty one year old father is kind of worrying me now. Like. This is exactly what I wasn't supposed to do in life.
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
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