so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
I have a voicemail from Mike at 1am. He starts to say something, but then throws up instead.
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
Please tell me I didn't help an old woman shave her vagina last night. Please.
That's the least of the fucked up shit you did last night dude.
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
He bought a sex swing! He's building the playground of my dreams!!!!
Wait I'm all alone with a guy and his turtle
I declared today 'Have a Bloody Mary Naked Day'. Why? Because I'm hungover, thirsty & don't want to bother putting on clothes.
you can't tell me not to come to work cause roads are bad then ask me an hour later to come in and expect me to be sober
This isn't good. I can't find my mom. This is why we don't give her Fireball.
I'm too high and old for this...
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
He just sent me a picture of multiple chickens eating in his kitchen... should I be worried
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
Randomize
