can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
Just signed my boyfriend up on a dating website so I could officially have a reason to leave him for my hot neighbor.
And he was super vague about his life, it was frustrating. I totally boned a homeless guy, didn't I?
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
You didn't hold all these dicks to become a party planner!
And the cops are back. At least my pants are on this time
Of course I have a pirate flag
She left a blunt and poutine on my nightstand with a note saying "went to the gym. be ready for round three when I get back" I love Canadian chicks
HEY JUST FOUND A SHIT TON OF MONEY IN THE PURSE HE SENT BRB GONNA GO BUY ME SOME MALE STRIPPERS AND BATHE IN THESE TWENTY DOLLAR BILLS
I think the best course of action at this point is to cut his balls off to get him to stop reproducing
ITS THE FIRST FRIDAY NIGJT AFTER MOVING IN WITH THE NEW ROOMIE AND I ACTUALLY JIST RIPPED MY TAMPON OUT AND THREW IT IN THE NEIGHBORS YARD WERE GOINF ON THE BOAT AND SLEPEING IN HIS AMBULANCE GOODNIGHT
When's the best time to point out that all of my orgasms this year have been self-administered? Valentine's day?
I have photo proof.
Girl, don't care. What's my rule? If I don't remember it, it never happened.
Randomize
