Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
well i was about to unbutton his pants but then i realized they had an elastic waste-band, so no, that didnt happen
the girls im babysitting are trying to see how much jello they can swallow without chewing...their future boyfriends are lucky
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
all i remember is being at the diner with her at 3am and her storming into the kitchen to make sure the chef gave me regular fries instead of home fries.
It's like hey here is one penis enjoy nothing but that for the rest of your life
Be here at 9 and look fabulous. We have drag queens to impress.
My sweat smells like Wild Turkey. I'm really feeling the holiday spirit.
He seems like a lot more than a waste of tequila
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
*tries to be fun and flirty* *literally gets peed on*
Hey remind me the get the pancakes out of my jacket
Today is a good day to get high. It's easy to blame the glazed-over look in my eye on my new contacts
Turns out I made out with a woman dressed as a unicorn here 10 years ago
Randomize
