I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
def just vomited mimosa in the gym trashcan. i weigh less already so i say its been a solid workout.
I don't remember him, but he's saved in my phone as "uh oh zbt"
i just threw up in the porta potty. i am in no condition to be guarding anyone's life rite now.
yeah, but the likliness of me finding my husband at a party where the facebook event is titled "NEW YEARS EVE SHIT SHOW" is highly unlikely
I got groped on the dancefloor by both grooms. I love gay weddings
I'm just glad you're the only person I can have a "remember when we thought I was pregnant" conversation with.
It was fine until he came back to my place, grabbed a beer, HIGH-FIVED me, and left.
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
I have to estimate how long it takes them to get to the bedroom so that I can sneak out of my room and get snacks. If she's anything like me, they're in bed the second he gets here and I can get snacks now
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
If the smell of things stopped me from putting things in my mouth. I wouldn't be popular with Grindr guys.
I am coming home with the worst sun burn of my life, two unused condoms, and an unworn slutty dress. Worst. Bachelorette. Party. Ever.
My parents left me the house for the weekend...you know what that means?!
Harry Potter marathon and no pants.
Randomize
