you kept telling everyone that you were the mayor of silverware town
Most fantastic sex ever until her Doberman took an interest in what we were doing. There was nothing more terrifying then feeling warm dog breath on my ballsack.
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
When she showed me how she could touch her toes without bending her knees, suddenly her face didn't worry me quite as much.
I just blew my nose and little bits of weed came out.
Just picture a bunch of Abraham Lincolns having an orgy.
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
Have bite marks on my arm where my temporary tat was Saturday night. Did someone try to bite Captain America or something?
One of the many mysteries surrounding the weekend...
Dude if I call tonight please answer and just say "NO, dont do it."
BAT SHIT CRAZY
It's you're fault, even though I never called
...and that is the first time I've ever wished fewer naked women on someone I like.
My poor liver. I drank enough on NYE to sustain an alcohol addiction for the entirety of 2015.
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
hey im sorry i made fun of the color of your sheets, but like it was all i could focus on during sex because they were just THAT UGLY
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