You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
I told him I'd have sex with him for fried cheese. Does that make me a hooker or just fat?
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
Well would you like to come over anyway? I will be wearing sweatpants and disappointment. Also, I have Jack Daniels and I've managed to get drunk in under half an hour. But my boobs look awesome.
COME HERE WE MELTED A CORONA BOTTLE WITH FIREWORKS
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
I feel bad cuz I was his ride home, but I didn't know I was going to have a religious experience with a guy in a cookie monster t-shirt. You can't plan for that shit.
I would drive 12 hours round trip for you to have an orgasm, cause that's friendship
He wants to buy me a wedding ring and pretend to be married to someone else when we fuck. It actually makes me wet thinking about it.
90% sure I just opened a snapchat of you in a fuzzy bathrobe next to your ceiling collapsing
You now have a new job. Call me around 1pm everyday and make sure I've eaten something. All I've had today is dick and cheesecake.
It doesn't matter if it's only been 3 days since you last changed your sheets. If your fuck buddy comments on how your bed smells like sex, it's time to change them again.
Randomize
