I'm a grown ass woman and I'm sitting in bed eating pizza at 4:30 a.m. BFD, right?
Be careful down there, Shane may have pooped on the carpet.
i'm waiting for the less fat version of him to text me
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
I just busted my piggy bank to afford McDonald's. This is my personal cry for help.
Sorry for pissing on y'all's floor last night
I've been here 20 minutes and a sweaty naked man has kissed me on the cheek.
he kept insisting he didn't have my number, so i called his phone and my number came up as "yeaaaaaaaaah!"
I just smoked weed with my physics professor. Tell me how my life is this.
we just drove past a kid stuck in a tree what a wonderful time to be alive
Everyone says she blew me in the bathroom, so I believe it, I just don't REMEMBER.
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
You have to give it to him that he fucked me out of the dull weekdays.
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
Randomize
