Just got done shaving my balls. You were right.
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
i think i'd rather have a trophy of a like jizz stained curtain or something
I was all over the place but at every locale you would pop out of nowhere and hand me a huge drink and say "HAMMERED"
I am the fairy godmother of the drink.
it's like getting dryhumped by a chainsaw in the very best possible way
I'd return your shirt, but it got all wet from lying on the bathroom floor while I was in the shower with Justin's roommate...
Keep it.
How's my date look?
Like a retarded elf
In a good way
Leaving my wallet at work and not going out to drink tonight...SIGN FROM THE UNIVERSE.
I got sucker punched while I was making out with some girl...I think my molar might have flown into her mouth
I just want to make out with him forever
I just can't have sex in the car again. it's just too much
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
Fuck it, i havent messed around in half a year. I have sexual tension with a fire hydrant.
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
Randomize
