dude you were so wasted last night you ate a sandwich made out of tomatos, cheese, doritos, salt & pepper. Then you heated it in the micro for 5 min to melt the cheese.
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
sticking your finger down your throat to make yourself throw up is bulimia, not morning sickness, so no, I don't think you're pregnant.
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
debating whether or not to save the package from my first plan b pill. it would be a nice addition to any baby book.
That reminds me of that one time you handcuffed me to a table leg while I was reaching for the vodka.
Too high to move please buy hi-c and pour it in my mouth in exchange I will marry your first born child
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
Found the puke drawer
When your boyfriends ex-girlfriend texts you to see what you're wearing to his sister's wedding that you were not invited to, nor knew about. I think it's time to call it quits.
When I say drunk I mean that in the process of filming a fratstar cooking show they threw a keg into the street where the police came to clean it up. now all they can say is "THE KEG GOT ARRESTED."
literally who communicates this much post-hookup why r u like this
I woke up to a bum peeing outside my window, and he said, "This is embarrassing for you."
I just saw your mom take a body shot off an undergrad, please tell me you're somewhere near by.
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
Randomize
