I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
I woke up this morning and was hoping we drank enough last night to have a unicorn drawn on my wrist. Good News: We did.
Im forcing mysellf to pee so i can fit more margaritas in me...
What can I say, we hook up during the holidays.. We're a seasonal couple
They just came out of my bathroom and asked if I could spare them a condom. See. Its a good thing I have some.
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
Fuck your 100 proof Hot Damn. Do you know what 100 proof vomit tastes like? Anger.
There's still helium in the tank I found in the garbage outside the bar!
i came so hard i kicked through my windshield
You were great dude. You wanted to charge the guy with fedora $100 to get in.
sooo the guy I beat last night in strip pong is the manager's husband at my new job...
He wanted to watch the vow, cuddle, and not have sex. An upgrade is in order.
Oh dear. If we're both hearing alien sounds then perhaps they're real.
Hey know anyone who wants 58 lbs of whole frozen chickens for a couple bowls?
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