I wish there were whore gnomes that cleaned our apartment when we were gone.
you decided to have a spaghetti fight but then you got greedy and decided to eat it all.
You kept saying "sir officer" which would have been polite and helped you if it wasn't a female. She was pissed.
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
Shot gunning beers for breakfast. You better be ready for today.
The security guard popped his head over the mens room door and goes "nice tits- now get out." Deer in headlights moment right there.
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
The object of the game was to pour tequila into a sombrero and drink as much as you can before it leaked through, 'Big Papi' won.
When and where the fuck did we get a beach ball??
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
Actually going to jail after your wedding is NOT part of the plan.
I only want to come over for sex and blueberry pancakes
Were you citizens arresting people again last night?
The dick lei will go down in squad history
Listen this is important.. if I die tonight you have to be the drug dealer at my funeral
Randomize
