is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
she likes to give head while listening to britney spears, getting blown by a girl with headphones on is a nice level of separation
all her text said was "asdfhdaufhudshfuds" and i knew that meant come over
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
hes wearing the same tie today that i tied him up with last night.i wanna go home
Stumbled into class and into a desk. When I fell my bottle broke in my backpack. I had to leave there was vodka everywhere.
5am, I am wayy too drunk for this. Hookers came out of nowhere. They're like ninjas. Some poor soul got the fat one, tomorrow's going to be interesting...
Not sure if it's my shorts, hat, shoes, hair or soul but one of the above just got me drunk again from the glorious aroma of Keystone Light.
Sorry I need more motivation then McDonalds and mojitos.
Well it was tamer than the 4th of july when I blew that guy I met walking home from the fireworks
His penis smells like laundry I just wanted to cuddle it
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
How did the test come back?
I've never been so happy to have a yeast infection. And i got a free pack of birth control
How was your night?
Good. I made people cry and run home
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