More dangerous that a broken heart and a shotgun.
You drink too much
No, I drink just the right amount - too often.
the majority of my texts from you are at 3 AM & consist of either "I'm drunk", "you're asian", or "bratwurst"
as nice as a boyfriend sounds, a relationship would require morals and self-restraint - both fields in which i lack.
momma always taught us never to change for a boy..
I think my hookup is starting to fall for me. Time to break his heart.
I just remember her dragging me inside in a panic saying we needed mentos and popcorn I have no fucking clue how we ended up asleep in her closet.
My parents don't seem to understand that all I want to do over break is smoke in bed and watch Workaholics.
I just wanna say I did some math and I lasted 1,052,000 more minutes than you at the bar before I got kicked out. That's 729 days. Bitch
So this bar tattoo not looking that great now
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
Like who turns down taking a nap inside of someone in 2014.
I blame everything on you. My broken heart, my fucked up liver and my twisted mind.
When we started the night I was in zebra wedges & she was in my black boots... I woke up wearing pink flip flops & the mirror on my rental is fuxked up. Wtf happened last night?
I’ll call you in a minute. Trying to book an AirBnB so I can finally bang the yummy guy from yoga
Your downward dog is going to rock his cock. I’m jealous
My cat is sitting in the window watching the neighbor's dogs doing it. I think she's lonely too.
Randomize
