Sry I called you an 8
Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
she was trying to give me a handjob in biology class while we were learning about the penis.
We had a long talk in which he told me he respects me more than any other girl. 30 minutes later, I got a facial.
Apparently I covered myself in sunscreen before I went to bed. Im just assuming that due to the fact I found an empty bottle of sunblock
Steve just broke his bong and some kid in an american flag bathing suit and no shirt just fell down the stairs. Its dangerous here
I woke up and watched my kitten suck on his nipple. Way too hungover to intervene. He thought it was me, so he just giggled and mumbled "mmm girl."
Seriously? God I hope he wasn't lactating.
......... Poor kitty
Was I holding a cat when you saw me? Because that was the height of that party for me.
At this point I will cuddle anything to prevent from dying alone
Neither of us have work tomorrow and we live w/n walking distance. This is your official Sandy booty call. Come rock me like a hurricane.
weekly advice from mom, "Drink vodka, it las hess calories"
Can we please start going to the gym before I accidentally kill someone via explosive fat girl pants button accident
Wat day did I have sex in my sleep? I just made a Dr appt for Friday and I want to talk to her about it
If I got everything I wanted in the world, I would have been forcing soup down your throat hours ago
Hey now one little girl thought it was cool I was covered in blood. Apparently according to her Mom she wants to be a surgeon when she grows up
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