I just did the scooter of shame. New levels of embarrassment have now opened.
I'm missing my class because I'm not done with my beer
Max was wondering if he could trade you sex for the use of your jumper cables
I got spanked with a cardboard tube. Apparently he used to be a percussionist. Who favored marching band tunes. It was weird.
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
My liver is crying. And I feel like I got fingered by Edward Scissorhands. While he was wearing brass knuckles
we can be functional adults and still think pizza lunchables are the shit
Peanut butter balls.
IF YOU EVEN COME NEAR MY BALLS AGAIN I SWEAR TO GOD
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
However, you did manage to order seven different drinks while fingering her at the packed bar - it was like watching the pizza men pound the dough in the windows
fucked him on the porch to avoid the chanting that always happens when we leave the bedroom. backfired when a group of freshman walked by and started screaming like fucking babies.
She said she hasn't cheated on me in 7 and a half days and she'd like praise for that.
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
It's taking all of my will power not to chug this margarita. This must be the life of an adult...
It's like the perfect sandwich, once you find it you want to ensure your future access to it.
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