he made me salute his american flag boxers before i took them off
Yeah, but thats the third time she's peed on me.
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
He gave them shots of purell and called it "acid rain" jello shots. They took them.
I hate freshman.
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
I am seriously considering thanking Macallan 18 in my thesis acknowledgments.
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
woke up next to the new dishwasher. set the record for banging a new employee to 6 hours...i should be a professional sexual predator
Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
Well I met my booty call's parents by accident, so that happened.
I remember looking at his body and thinking wow you have a body sculpted by Jesus himself. Still not sure if I said that out loud or not
My poor liver. I drank enough on NYE to sustain an alcohol addiction for the entirety of 2015.
Well I'm over here squandering a fabulous hair day and radiant complexion
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
Randomize
