i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
I'm trying to make a sex playlist
record yourself crying and put it on a loop.
how are things with the new girl?
good, we have nothing in common but she likes being choked
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
Come make me food. I feel like if I go in the kitchen I will just get Gin.. and pass out in there.
I doubt she'll sponsor it. You know alcohol and fireworks don't mix, right?
It's okay. We're not going to soak the fireworks in alcohol. The alcohol is for drinking.
Two women at the Safeway just got out of their separate cars and kissed. One was driving an outback, the other a CRV. It was like a Honda and Subaru had a lesbian joint venture and filmed the commercial in front of me.
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
I just woke up on an unfamiliar floor, my shoes are gone, my suits covered in red lipstick and chocolate, and Im wearing sunglasses that say "Maid of Honor".God damnit I love this country.
all I've ever wanted was a guy with twelve cats who will tie me up in bed
That pizza at 1 am literally tasted like I was eating an angel
Are you sexting with minion stickers right now?
So apparently I tried texting you last night to tell you I wasn't coming home, but all I had typed were lyrics from Evita
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
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