; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
I'm chasing vodka with french fries.
We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
WHY. COME BACK. TRAPPED WITH ROOMMATE AND FALCON. SAVE ME. I HAVE HUMMUS.
Just used the leftover candycorn for candycorn vodka. Our house is trying to continue the Halloween spirit for as long as possible.
God dammit not the cupcake channel. Not when I'm high.
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
Strangers are buying me shots and I got hit on by lesbians. How is it only tuesday
i was on the fire escape while he ate me out for a while before i realized he had shut the door behind us and locked us out and i proceeded to climb down the stairs and climb back into the party through the window.
i can only hope to be on your level one day.
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
Hell no. Last time I used a Slip N Slide I ended up with bruised ribs, a broken fence and the hatred of a half naked girl with a sprained wrist.
when u match a guy bc he's from Oregon & he's trying to flirt, shut up i just want to talk about trees
look, my penis is an amusement park, and it's closed for maintenance. why can't you just accept that?
Being high is definitely not the perfect addition to this family dinner. No. My grandma trips me the fuck out.
Randomize
